"Emo"ness in passion?

Yesterday i had my worst day of inward emotional display since december. What do i mean by that?simple, i just felt like crying the whole nite, because of a lyrics of a song which was parallel to my desire. The song is With everything from Hillsongs latest album.


now, it's not uncommon for me. Since march this year, i have cried lots of times in my quiet time. But yesterday as i was listening to this song, i just started feeling a pain in my soul. And i longed for God to just "hurry up" and touch the church. I needed a sign, i really needed a sign.

So i smsed 3 people. Isaac, Eunice and my pet sis.

I asked Eunice, whether she had had these kinda feelings before?She said of course.

Isaac said yes. i then told Isaac that i was on the verge of breaking down, and that i needed a sign. He then smsed a very important word to me.

Patience.


itz all God's timing, and only when He feels we are ready.

My pet sis told me that i must wait on the Lord and hear His heartbeat and not insist on my own way.

That was really really helpful.


But, last nite, what really struck me was when Eunice smsed me. I asked her if it was ok to mix emotions in this? i personally believe that we should never act on emotions. if you ask me, emotions are actually quite destructive. But now i know, there are 2 perceptions. She said she believes emotions are necessary and have their place. How else can we intercede and travail? She said not to kill my passion but learn to live it out with grace.

She said the Lord had given her 2 Cor 5 :13-15

So, i opened my bible and decided to read from verse 1 onwards. I read till verse 4 :

4While we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened - not that we would be unclothed, but further clothed,so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.

I was surprised that i had never stumbled upon this passage before. And i was just telling my pet sis that this burden was not smth i detested. This burden to cry was something i wanted so badly.and i said i wasn't so sure whether it was just my own emotions acting in. The next verse confirmed my doubts.

5He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

Wow, that was like so handy in the time of need.

6we know that while we are at home in the body, we are away from the Lord, 7for we walk by faith and not by sight.8Yes, we are of good courage and we would rather be away from the body, and at home with the Lord.9So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

That itself was a blessing, then i continued reading .

13For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

And i finally know, i must live out my emotions with maturity and my passion with grace. and patience!





I really thank God. He is great and He knows how to soothe and mend a broken and weeping heart. God is great.

signing off,
MarcusDS