"Emo"ness in passion?

Yesterday i had my worst day of inward emotional display since december. What do i mean by that?simple, i just felt like crying the whole nite, because of a lyrics of a song which was parallel to my desire. The song is With everything from Hillsongs latest album.


now, it's not uncommon for me. Since march this year, i have cried lots of times in my quiet time. But yesterday as i was listening to this song, i just started feeling a pain in my soul. And i longed for God to just "hurry up" and touch the church. I needed a sign, i really needed a sign.

So i smsed 3 people. Isaac, Eunice and my pet sis.

I asked Eunice, whether she had had these kinda feelings before?She said of course.

Isaac said yes. i then told Isaac that i was on the verge of breaking down, and that i needed a sign. He then smsed a very important word to me.

Patience.


itz all God's timing, and only when He feels we are ready.

My pet sis told me that i must wait on the Lord and hear His heartbeat and not insist on my own way.

That was really really helpful.


But, last nite, what really struck me was when Eunice smsed me. I asked her if it was ok to mix emotions in this? i personally believe that we should never act on emotions. if you ask me, emotions are actually quite destructive. But now i know, there are 2 perceptions. She said she believes emotions are necessary and have their place. How else can we intercede and travail? She said not to kill my passion but learn to live it out with grace.

She said the Lord had given her 2 Cor 5 :13-15

So, i opened my bible and decided to read from verse 1 onwards. I read till verse 4 :

4While we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened - not that we would be unclothed, but further clothed,so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.

I was surprised that i had never stumbled upon this passage before. And i was just telling my pet sis that this burden was not smth i detested. This burden to cry was something i wanted so badly.and i said i wasn't so sure whether it was just my own emotions acting in. The next verse confirmed my doubts.

5He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

Wow, that was like so handy in the time of need.

6we know that while we are at home in the body, we are away from the Lord, 7for we walk by faith and not by sight.8Yes, we are of good courage and we would rather be away from the body, and at home with the Lord.9So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

That itself was a blessing, then i continued reading .

13For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

And i finally know, i must live out my emotions with maturity and my passion with grace. and patience!





I really thank God. He is great and He knows how to soothe and mend a broken and weeping heart. God is great.

signing off,
MarcusDS

What i watched on youtube today =)

Well, what exactly did i watch?

i watched a few vids actually, some very heart breaking ones. One about a palestinian christian converting to islam, another about mormons testifying of joseph smith as their god.

but, then i saw a video which reminds me why im still a christian.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q02_yRT2CIk

Pastor Robert Ferguson led the bible reading and the benediction. And i remember, how it hits me everytime. That Jesus, He willingly became poor so that in His poverty, we will be rich. It hits me everytime, when i remember that how God has every right to throw us right now into the abyss and forget all about our sinful race. But yet He chooses to wait patiently for the gospel to spread thru the 4 corners of the earth.

How wonderful tisn't it? Oh, for the wonders of the God is unknown to man. One of the reasons christianity never fails to amaze me is because, it is sooo real. I never fully understand, and that gets me to question. And God answers. and it is so precious for a moment like that.

random ramblings,
marcusDS

A New Race has Begun

Prayer conversation that took place at KLCC 5 days before Pastor Sunther went home to be with the Lord.


Yvonne Lim, Isaac Lee, and I (Eunice Wong) had just met up at KLCC. Not to shop, or to lepak.. but to talk business and pray. We accomplished the latter more than the former.

While finding a quiet spot to have a 4-way convo (it ended up being a bench in the park), Isaac said "We need to be so near to Him that we can even hear his heartbeat."
We began asking God to let us hear His heartbeat. Not ask Him about a specific thing, but to just hear what is in His heart.

While we waited in silence, the song "Save Malaysia" began playing in Isaac's head.

"Do it through us
Do it in me" goes the pre-chorus.

God's reply was: Show it.
Questions is ARE WE?

Bless this sun burnt land
(Yvonne then pointed out that Malaysia is a pretty sun burnt land too.)
With Your mighty hand
Take our hearts and lives
So all may know Your Love

Yvonne said again that is was very hot, so we finally moved indoors to avoid a suntan.
"Ah... air con!"
Out of the blue, she shared a memory which might actually have been a Word.
When we hold up our hands to God and we are asked "What is there in your hands?" our answer is - nothing.
But when God says "Now stretch out your hand" and our hands are now giving.. we are saying "God even though I have nothing, you can still use the nothing in my hands and make it SOMETHING to bless others."

As for me, I heard Revelations 3:2 for the second time that day -
Rev 3:2 Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God.

Is God warning us that we cannot start something new without first being faithful to build what God has already given us.
I also saw a padlock. It's right there in clear sight, but felt such a frustration to get it open.

Last of all, God seemed to be calling us to something no one finds easy - ENDURANCE.

Rev 14: 12 This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God's commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.

It's not just the passing of a baton. It's a new race!

But the next verse was what interested Isaac and Yvonne.
Rev 14: 13 Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them."
Blessed are the dead! A discussion sprang up about death. Why is death sometimes part of God's plan to start something new?

One week later, I was a little startled when Marcus wrote a response to the email concerning Pastor Sunther's homecoming. And he quoted the same verse! Is God confirming the truth that Pastor Sunther is now at rest from his labors and that everything He has done will bear fruit?
Amen and amen to that!



Would you like to hear from the Message what it says in contemporary English?
Here goes:

12Meanwhile, the saints stand passionately patient, keeping God's commands, staying faithful to Jesus.
13I heard a voice out of Heaven, "Write this: Blessed are those who die in the Master from now on; how blessed to die that way!"

"Yes," says the Spirit, "and blessed rest from their hard, hard work.
None of what they've done is wasted;
God blesses them for it all in the end."

in memory of Pastor Sunther

Pastor Sunther from Peace AOG in Kluang passed away this morning(Wednesday)  of asthma..
itz a very sad thing..
i met him at MYPG..
heard him give a message, chatted with him..
altho i only talked to him a while and knew him for roughly 12 hours
i feel like i have known him a long time,
i really liked him as well..

i had wanted to email him..
but i alwayz forgot..
now when i wan oso cant adi..

he has a wife and 3 kids, very young kids..
itz not easy to see a man of God pass away like that..

i know how the kluangites feel..
i rmb how i felt when pastor Tan passed away..
im praying for you guys in kluang!!
HANG IN THERE!!

Lord, i pray for the youths in kluang oh Lord
even the adults..
Lord they have lost a leader to death,but in You, he is alive..
Lord, we thank you that in the time Pastor Sunther lived, he had lived a good life
His ministry was important, serving people was important, serving You was important
thank you that He left such a great legacy..
Lord, please touch those close to him,
esp his wife and kids Lord
Lord, You are a Father to the fatherless..
Lord, even as his children cant talk to their dad anymore
i pray you will raise them up to continue their dadz legacy..
thank You Father God..
Fill them with a passion to do more for Your name
In Jesus name i pray
Amen..

Revelation 14:13
Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." 
"Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them."

MarcusDS